Most people around me are atheists. I suppose the whole science against religion perception accounts for that. Me, well, I am somewhere in the middle. While I am not a huge fan of organized religion, I do believe in the existence of a being more superior than I am. At the peril of quoting Dan Brown, I have to say that it is science that has taught me to believe in God. The vastness and variety of the Cosmos I study compels me to trust in an entity who is omnipotent. God,Nature,Universe, whatever the name, I believe there is a being that is the embodiment of the First Law of Thermodynamics that form the basis of our understanding of existence.
I have always maintained that it is very difficult to grow up in India and not believe in God. We love our Gods like they are members of our family. Indeed, the 3 Million something Hindu Gods and their different incarnations and forms, Jesus and his various disciples(read Saints), Allah and his prophets,the countless tribal Gods ...all in all, we have about 5 Million Gods ruling a population of 1.2 billion, which is quite fitting I think. It gives you the same feeling you get when you dab yourself all over with a new perfume, like you are cocooned safely inside a cloud with all these people watching over you.
Then there are personal-family Gods, who protect their respective family. This concept is mostly derelict nowadays. They reside in the attic and are worshipped by an eternal flame (in most homes). I myself have only heard about this custom in stories my maternal Grandmother used to narrate when I was a child. The most interesting of these was connected to how my ancestors came to Kerala and set up a temple for our family God almost 100 kms from my hometown. Apparently my great great great great (and a couple greats more) Grandfather was about to flee from his village in Naanjinaadu (in Nagerkoil district of today's Tamilnadu) for some reason I can't remember now, he heard a majestic voice from the attic that said “I'm also coming”. The owner of that voice was the Goddess who resided in the attic. So he took the effigy along with him to Kerala and set up a temple for her in Mannadi in Pathanamthitta district of Kerala. This temple later became famous as the one Veluthampi Dalawa hid to escape the British and subsequently committed suicide in. Unfortunately none of this can be authenticated for my source has long since passed away and no one else in my family remembers these stories.
I believe growing up listening to mythological stories from my Grandparents has had a profound influence in my spirituality. My grandmother was an ardent devotee of several Hindu Gods and an avid reader. My Grandfather is a Communist who regularly visits temples, an oxymoron in himself. Sometimes I feel a certain disbelief in the whole concept, but it passes after a while and I'm back in my non-religious but God-believer Avatar.
